Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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