Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My dick has a subreddit
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
