Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
