You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
