this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize