I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
