i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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