I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
