it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
