You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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