Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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