wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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