I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
