Swine flu. Run for my life!
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize