what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
