ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
