Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
