You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
