You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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