Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
