Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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