guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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