Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
