You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
