He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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