Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just googled if crying burns calories
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
