I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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