is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
