Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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