how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
