The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
