im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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