Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
