Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
