me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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