Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
