I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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