the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize