it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize