I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He shit in the fireplace
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
