sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
