he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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