I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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