Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
