Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
