she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
