Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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