Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
