But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
