Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize