Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My penis needs a shock collar
My breasts were aching with rage.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
