i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize