We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
