College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize