my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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