There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
