Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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