Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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