Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
